Do you ever feel like you are constantly making mistakes for whatever reason?  I know I do.  I see this especially in my relationships that I have.  i am always saying the wrong thing and being stubborn when it isnt worth it and poking jokes when no one else thinks that they are funny.  It is something that I am seeing more and more in my life and it is something that I have to work on more I think.  The only person who can cause me to change is me and that is something that I have to remind myself of everyday.  In this season of hope, i want to hope and pray that I have a chance of being a better person.  That I through prayer and hard work can become more of the woman that God wants me to be and not the woman that everyone else thinks that I should be.  This is something that i know is going to be hard.  Society has so many expectations for women that God does not have and the ones that God has are different than the ones that society has!  It ca be a hard thing to reconcile but I have hope and that is all that matters! Hope is what gets people through and it should always be held on to!

  I am a selfish person.  For some this might come as a shock and for others this may come with no surprise! I just dont know sometimes.  I think of others and am concerned for their well being,but there are other times when I truly only think of myself.  This is something that I am far from proud of!  
  We live in a day and age where everyone says to think of yourself and to not worry about others.  There are even some people who think that they Bible says that God helps those who help themselves.  Let me just say that both of these things are not true! Imagine how much better the world would be if we thought about the feelings of others and not about our own selfish ambitions.  I think that this is part of the reason that I am so mad at myself right now.  I have been so focused on myself that I have neglected the feelings of others.  It is really frustrating when you go against something that you are passionate about.  i feel like a hypocrite. 
  This is the time where I have to make a decision.  Do I want to stay on the course that I am on or do I want to make a change?  I want to make a change.  Thinking only about myself is pretty vain!  I do not want to be one of those people.  i mean it is important to think about my health and spiritual life and things of that nature, but it is just as important to look at the needs of others and make sure that they are being met as well.
  this probably just sounds like a lot of ranting and raving but that is ok.  It is just something that I had to get off of my chest.   

Writing is something that I have and am still not very good at in school.  however, put me out there being anonymous and having no one critique it and I am good to go.  I dont expect many if anyone to read this, but I will change names of people and locations though.  I am about a quarter way through my life (24) and I just have a lot on my mind as a young christian and what better way to get it out there than on a blog right?  Looking forward to wht the future has to hold.